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  • So Gross, It Must Be Delicious

    When I was pregnant, I didn’t crave any nasty foods. That’s assuming you don’t count Arby’s French dip as nasty. For that, I once risked my life and that of my unborn child by making a futile Arby’s run during an active tornado warning even though the local Arby’s franchise was, of course, closed. Because……

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  • The sides of me only AI can see

    The brand manager at my new job recently asked if I could provide her with a current headshot to include on our company intranet. Because I work in very corporatey settings doing very corporatey things, one might reasonably expect me to have this sort of thing at the ready. Unfortunately, before quitting my last job,……

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  • Beauty, Without All the Awful Chewing

    Yesterday my 20-year-old daughter wanted to show me some young woman’s go-to breakfast that is apparently breaking the Internet. It amounted to dipping chicken sausage and a variety of raw veggies into copious amounts of mustard and cottage cheese, which I can appreciate, but I was completely distracted by the ASMR technique used for the……

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  • Take the Stairs

    I work in an office building in a revitalized downtown. The streets surrounding it are lined with retro neon signs, quirky shops, and tempting cafes, clubs, bars, and theaters. There’s even a converted funeral parlour that serves as a de facto speakeasy near where I park. I’ve been on this job for several months, often……

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  • Sugar Shaker

    My grandfather had shoes big as frying pans, and he used to let me stand atop them while he and I partner danced in his basement. He wasn’t particularly graceful, so I’d curl my toes to anchor myself as he slid us around the damp room that smelled of ping-pong balls — small strides for……

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  • Pretty Wrinkled

    When I was in my early 30s and my now ex-husband was working in a dermatology practice, a stacked Russian blonde newly on the clinical staff began making suggestive comments to him during the workday. “You know Jennifer Aniston’s character in Horrible Bosses?” she asked him . “That’s gonna be me, with you.” She was……

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